Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
