Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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