It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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