thus making me awesome and them whores
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
