We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
