How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
