Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
