I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
