just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
