my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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