I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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