can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
