Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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