I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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