Duck Duck Cougar?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
