So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I am full of burrito and curiosity
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
cat food counts as protein by the way
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
