So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
