Taylor Swift is so right about you.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.