if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.