It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that