watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.