Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
3 2 1 whiskey
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.