So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame