Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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