I hate all girls vehemently.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
