So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
