The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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