The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
