She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
My vagina is very pro this idea
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize