Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
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they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
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Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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