I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
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Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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