I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
