Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
