Will you blow on my dice?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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