Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
