Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
