3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
