the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
