Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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