Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
