I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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