I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
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it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
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This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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