some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize