I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
