there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
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He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
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I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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