found the other keg... it's in the tree
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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