I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
