So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
