So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
