so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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