This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
