She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
