I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize