didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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