Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
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I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
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the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
that may or may not have been my penis.
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