Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
