I look better un-naked...
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
