He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
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He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
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I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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