just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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