just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
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Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
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Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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