return my video game
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Randomize
