Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Randomize
