I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
