I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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